Yesterday when I was old
by Nordique1
Summary: Beverly is travelling back to the Enterprise D when her shuttle hits a time disturbance. She is thrown back in time twenty years.
1. Chapter 1

Young Ensign Graham Martel had pulled the night shift on the rotation. He was doubling his duties, sitting at the helm with tactical piped into his console – not that it was making his shift that more interesting.

Again, as it had been since he had been on board, nothing of significance was happening. As he performed the latest scheduled checks he could not stop himself from thinking that perhaps the Enterprise must have been a more exciting ship before the Captain got married. While at the academy, like many of his peers, he had desperately wanted to be posted on the flagship - a ship which seemed to go from one exciting adventure to the next. He'd worked hard, and had been ecstatic when he found out he got the Enterprise.

That had been the last exciting thing to happen. All the legendary adventures the ship had the reputation of having, well, he didn't know what that was all about, because he sure had not seen any of them. The most noteworthy event since his arrival had been the Captain and CMO's wedding; not the stuff adventurous young officers dream of. As though that was not mundane enough, the ship was now ablaze with the news that the Captain's wife was pregnant. There was even a baby shower planned! Baby showers Martel thought disdainfully. He bet Captain Picard never had to attend one the whole time he'd captained the Stargazer. [Young Martel would be surprised to learn that not only Picard had attended one, he had, perish the thought, even organized one when he's found out his friend Jack Crusher was going to be a father.]

The doors to the turbolift opened and in walked Picard. Martel immediately sat up straighter in his chair. Mundane or not, the man was still the captain. Then a thought came to him: The captain on the bridge, in the middle of a night shift. Maybe something was finally going to happen! Picard headed straight towards his ready room, but stopped to look at the young helmsman.

"You're new here Ensign?" he asked

Martel – if possible, came even more to attention - : "No Sir. I've been on the ship for six months, but only rotated to bridge duty a few weeks ago."

"Ah.. I see. Martel correct?"

Proud at having been recognized by the captain, Martel smiled: "Yes. Sir."

Picard looked at the young man thoughtfully: "Mmmmm…. Martel… I'm sure I had a great grandmother who was a Martel." He paused, his mind occupied. "Oh well, I'm sure I have that written down somewhere."

Picard then became more business like: "The shuttle Algonquin is coming our way Lieutenant. The moment she's in communication range, I want you to hail her and patch the call to my ready room. Understood?"

"Yes Sir!" The first time the captain came on the bridge when he was on duty and already he was tasked personally with something obviously important - the highlight of his career so far for sure.

Martel immediately started doing a long range scan to see if he could pick up the shuttle.

A Lieutenant Commander, sitting beside him at the other help position, started snickering: "That's quite the responsibility you've got there Graham my boy."

The ensign turned to him: "What do you mean? It has to be someone important in that shuttle for him to get up in the middle of the night just to talk to them."

His neighbor smile got even wider: "It sure is – it's his wife! Dr. Crusher is returning from the medical conference she's been at."

Graham, despite his best efforts, could not hide his disappointment. The first time he's given something to do by the captain and it's just to place a call to his wife! Not the illustrious start to his career he had dreamt of. Nevertheless, the captain had given him a task, he was not about to mess it up. He went back to his scans and within minutes he'd picked it up.

Graham hailed it immediately: "Enterprise to shuttle Algonquin. Please respond."

Within seconds a soft female voice answered: "Algonquin here Enterprise. Go ahead."

Martel had seen the doctor before of course. She had made a point of coming over to talk to him when he reported for his initial medical exam after coming on board. Her son Wesley had been in one of his classes and she'd asked after him. He'd not had the heart to tell her Wesley was not especially having a great time at the Academy, but then, she had found that out herself a few months later when her son quit Starfleet.

"Sir. Captain Picard asked me to hail you the moment you came in range. I'll patch you over to his ready room?"

The doctor smiled: "Yes. Thank you Ensign." I guess she was kind of beautiful for someone her age thought the young man – if one ignored she was pregnant!

In his ready room Jean-Luc was patiently waiting, re-reading La Fontaine. He wanted to make sure he knew some of the fables before his daughter was born.

He looked up when his comm unit beeped. The image of his wife came on: "Hello Sailor."

He smiled – trying to hide his malaise at her use of the phrase- a phrase Jean-Luc had often heard her say when greeting her first husband. Even now with Jack dead fifteen years, and him married to her with a child coming soon, Picard still found it sometimes difficult to ignore the feeling he was only second best to his friend, and her first husband Jack Crusher.

He made a point of shaking off the feeling: "Hello to you to. How are you – both of you?" he asked softly.

Jean-Luc could see her put a hand on her belly - where it was barely evident she carried his child: "We are both fine Jean-Luc."

He was prevented from answering when the signal started to crack up and finally cut-off. At first Picard thought nothing of it as the shuttle had been at the limit of a good comm signal. After a minute, when the signal had not been re-established, he got curious and decided to walk out to the bridge to investigate. But it wasn't a quiet efficient bridge crew going about its normal nighttime business he found, but a crew on full alert, all frantically working. A feeling of dread descended in his stomach.

"Report Mr. Data." Asked the captain, trying to keep the apprehension out of his voice.

Data immediately vacated the captain's chair and went to his science station.

"The shuttle disappeared Sir."

For a moment, everybody on the bridge quit working and looked at the captain. Picard sat up straighter, looked at the bridge crew and simply responded: "Well gentlemen, your task is simple, find my wife."

* * *

Somewhere else in space – 2353

Captain Jean-Luc Picard on the Stargazer was sitting – a bit slumped, but not too slumped – on his captain's chair. The Stargazer was patrolling the outer rim – months away at maximum warp from sector 001. It was the kind of mission Picard liked. Totally on his own, too far from Earth for Command to second guess his decisions, and exploring sections of space the Federation had never been to before. He looked around at his bridge crew. An odd mixture of young and old, but when it came to it, he would serve with nobody else.

Saal, a young female Vulcan, sitting at the helm spoke up: Captain, our sensors just picked up a ship." She turned to her captain: "Sir, they are broadcasting a Federation signal, but not one we know."

Picard straightened, up bit perplexed. They had received their last communication packet from Earth only days ago. The mysterious ship's call signal should have been in their data bank, and thus recognized.

"What can you learn about the ship Lieutenant?"

"Very little Sir. She is broadcasting out as the Algonquin – attached to the Federation Starship…" The Vulcan turned to her Captain. It was rare for a Vulcan to show such hesitation, "…..Enterprise." she finished.

Jean-Luc did a turnabout: "The Enterprise? But she was lost six years ago at Narendra III. How can one of her shuttle be here?"

Saal turned to her captain: "Captain. It's not the Enteprise C Sir. The call sign shows the Enterprise D."

"The D!? Surely we've not been in the outer rim so long that Starfleet launched a new Enterprise without us finding out?" Picard went back to his chair and pressed a button: "Picard to Crusher."

The answer came immediately: "Crusher here Captain."

"Jack, I know you're off duty, but come to the bridge immediately. We have a bit of a situation on our hands here."

The captain then turned to the Vulcan: "Hail them Lieutenant."

"No answer other than their automated beacon Sir."

"Any life forms?"

"One Sir."

Picard turned as Jack came on the bridge: "What's up Captain?"

"Well Jack we have ourselves a mysterious shuttle from the Enterprise of all ships."

"The Enterprise?"

"Yes Jack. The D!"

At Jack startled expression Jean-Luc could only confirm what they have discovered so far.

"Take the bridge Jack. I'm going over. " As he quickly walked over to the transporter room Picard hailed the ship's doctor and explained the situation: one life sign, but no response to hails.

Jean-Luc met Haram in the transporter room. He liked the old doctor. He had been in Starfleet for forever, and nothing seemed to faze him.

Both men materialized in the port section of the shuttle. They immediately saw legs, covered in blue, sticking out from beside the pilot's chair. They quickly went over to find a woman in a strange blue uniform lying unconscious on the floor. Her red hair prevented the men from seeing her face, but Jean-Luc recognized her immediately.

"Beverly…."

Haram had been scanning her, making sure not to miss her subcutaneous ID: "Yes, and no, Captain. Her dogtag does identifies her as Beverly Crusher, but…" He paused to look up to his captain before continuing: "aged 47. CMO of the Federation Starship Enterprise D."

Picard could not stop himself from responding: "What?"

Haram continued: "That's not all Sir. She's four months pregnant and the father is listed as….." the old doctor again hesitated: "… Jean-Luc Picard."


	2. Chapter 2

It took a few moments for Jean-Luc to react: "Me?

Jaboudi Haram turned to Picard and showed him the results of the dog tag download.

"Yes, Johnny. Not only are you the father of her child, but also her husband, and her Captain. She's the CMO of the Enterprise, but you're the captain."

Haram handled the pad to Picard. It was all there in front of him. According to this, in fifteen years, he would be married to Beverly and expecting a daughter. His mind drifted, tried to imagine the life he would have with the woman he was secretly in love with. He breathed in deeply before turning to the doctor who had been silently treating Crusher while Jean-Luc absorbed it all.

"How is she?"

"Unconscious. Both of them are doing well. She's in excellent shape. Whatever brought that shuttle here must have been a hell of a ride to make her pass out. "

"Both of them"….. of course Jean-Luc thought. She's pregnant with …. my daughter. He gently tucked her hair behind her ear to better see her face. Even unconscious he could see she the differences: gone was the perfect face of youth, her face now showing the lines of fifteen years of laughter and pain. He could only hope he had shared in her laughter, and had been there for her pain.

Picard was brought out of his thoughts by his CMO: "Johnny. What do you want me to do?"

Picard, who had been crouched in front of Beverly, leaned back and sat on the floor. He rubbed his hand on his head as he tried to figure out the next steps. One thing he had learned from being a Captain: The best way to deal with such a problem was to attack it bit by bit. The first bit was simple: bring Beverly back to his ship. The second bit a bit more complicated: find someone to assign to the problem. Jack, the ship's science and first officer, was the obvious choice, but looking at the woman unconscious in front of him, not the right choice, not for today at least. Perhaps later when they knew more, but for now, keeping this contained was his first concern.

He turned to his doctor:

"I have no clue what this is all about Jaboudi: time shift, parallel universe….. but I know enough that for now, we'll keep this on the low and quiet. I'm invoking Starfleet protocol security level four. Only you, and I, and Lieutenant Saal will be involved with this. Understood?"

Haram had been around long enough to not question his Captain's decision: "I'll beam her back to Sickbay and put her in strict quarantine with limited access."

Jean-Luc tapped his communicator: "Picard to Stargazer. Three to bean directly to quarantined section of Sickbay."

Within seconds they re-materialized on the Stargazer. Jean-Luc turned to the doctor: "Take care of her Doctor. Don't tell her anything. Let me know immediately when she wakes up. I'll be on the bridge."

Picard barely heard his CMO's answer as he strode out the door. He went directly to the bridge, avoiding Jack's questioning look. Jean-Luc called out to Lieutenant Saal as he went through.

"Saal. In my ready room. Now."

He went to the replicator more to give himself time to gain back his equilibrium then the need for tea. Saal, waiting patiently at attention, stood silently in front of him. Only after having sipped the tea for a few moments did he feel prepared enough to talk.

"Saal. The shuttle out there. It is not from here."

The Vulcan waited for Picard to provide more details.

Jean-Luc tried again. "What I mean is it's not from our time, or our universe or something… Wherever it's from, it's definitively not from here. I want you to take the lead on this investigation."

Saal only had one answer: "Captain, Commander Crusher is the senior science officer on board. It would only be logical for him to lead this investigation."

"I know that Lieutenant. But for this specific job, I want you. Understood?"

"Yes Captain." The Vulcan agreed. After all, there is logic in not arguing for a hopeless argument, no matter how logical that argument is. The captain had decided.

He was speaking again.

"I want you to work alone, encode all your research, report to me directly, and more importantly do not discuss this situation with anybody else but me and Dr. Harram. We brought someone back from that shuttle. She is now in sickbay. Her presence on board must remain a secret."

Jean-Luc put his cup down: "Is that understood Lieutenant."

After her affirmative nod, Jean-Luc dismissed the Vulcan and watched her leave his ready room. He walked over to his desk and sat down. He still had to figure out in his mind – and his heart – what all of this meant. Somewhere in the future, he and Beverly would be married and expect a child together. And Jack…. What of Jack? This Beverly was still a Crusher, so Jack at the very least had to have married her at some point. Where was he now? Divorced? Not likely. The Beverly he knew would never keep the name of a man she'd divorced.

That only left one option. Her Jack was dead.

* * *

In the Stargazer's sickbay the old doctor was monitoring his patient. That she was Beverly Crusher, he had no doubts. After all, the young resident had done a practicum on the Stargazer the previous year so he knew her well. Her identity was the only thing right about the woman in the front of him. She was years older than she should be, wearing the wrong uniform and several grades higher than the newly minted Ensign he had trained. Haram glanced at her diagnostics. She was starting to wake up.

Jaboudi ailed his captain: "Captain. Haram here. Please come to Sickbay immediately. Our guest is waking up."

It only took a few minutes for Picard to show up. The doctor glanced as his captain came in. He knew his superior was anxious about the situation. Haram had not failed to notice the special attention Picard had given his first officer's wife when she'd been here last year. That at some point she had ended up marrying Picard was something the doctor knew had shaken his captain, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

"She's coming out of it Johnny."

Those were the first words Beverly heard as she fought for her eyes to stay open. She looked around and there was something vaguely familiar about the room she was in. It was a sickbay all right, but the equipment, while definitively Starfleet, was at least a decade out of date. Perhaps she'd been picked up by a commercial freighter? Those ships were known to purchase surplused Starfleet equipment. Beverly turned her head and ended looking straight into the dark eyes of a familiar face.

"Jaboudi?" Last Beverly had heard, her old mentor had retired to a private practice in Africa. What was he doing back in space? Beverly started to get off the medibed only to be hit by a wave of dizziness. Strong arms came to her rescue.

"Hey… careful there."

Beverly laid back on the bed and closed her eyes in relief. His voice. Jean-Luc was here. Everything was going to be all right – yet deep down in her subconscious, she knew it wasn't. Why had he laid her down back on the bed immediately? He must have wanted to hold her as much as she wanted to be held?

She attempted to open her eyes again, and this time did not try to get up again less the dizziness returned. Beverly slowly turned her head to find Jean-Luc's concerned face looking at her. While he looked at her with the same warmth she was used to seeing in his eyes – it was not the same. Now it was restrained, guarded – a look she was familiar with, but had not seen in years. Her eyes travelled down from his face to the rest of him and the more she looked at him, the greater the sinking feeling in her stomach became. He was wearing an older Starfleet uniform – one not seen in 20 years. The jacket was off and his muscles could be clearly seen though the white long sleeved undershirt. Now anxious, Beverly looked at him again. Unlike the clean shaven face she was used to seeing, he now had a two day dusting of beard.

It was a look she recognized, from so many years ago, from Jean-Luc's years on the Stargazer.

Her mind reeled – tried to make sense of what was in front of her. Maybe she was being given one of the surprised psych tests Starfleet had started doing a few years ago? But she'd declared her pregnancy, and pregnant personnel were exempt. Heads would roll when Jean-Luc found out.

Now that the dizziness had lessened, she started to sit up again. This time they let her.

She started speaking, looking up, and ignoring the two men in the room: "OK… stop this simulation right now. " Beverly proceeded to give her rank and ID number before quoting the Starfleet regulation prohibiting the phsych test to be administered to pregnant Starfleet staff.

Nothing happened. Beverly tried again.

"Whoever did this simulation, this is not funny. End it right now."

The heavy feeling grew heavier as nothing happened. Beverly had an idea. Jean-Luc had a small scar on his side. A scar from suture points she had done on him over twenty years ago during a camping trip –but more crucial to her plight - a scar not on his medical file. A hologram Picard would not have the scar. Determined to prove this was not her Jean-Luc, Beverly got up and before Jean-Luc could react, she started lifting his thin sweater.

"You're not real. My Jean-Luc has a scar…"

Beverly did not finish her sentence. There, on his side, below the second rib, was a scar. A scar she knew well for having gently touched it so many times.

"Oh my God… this is real."

There was no denying it now.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for all the kind reviews. Would love to have someone beta this story. PM me if you are interested.


	3. Chapter 3

***On the Stargazer***

Beverly was standing looking at the diagnostics readouts she had insisted Jaboudi do on her baby. Despite the mess she found herself in, at the very least she wanted to make sure her daughter was fine. She let out a sigh a relief when everything came out normal. Beverly stilled herself before turning to face the Stargazer's doctor and captain.

"Now what?" she asked them.

A small smile came to Jean-Luc's lips. It seems age had not tempered her directness. He gently led her by the elbow to a small private room and they both sat down on a couch.

Beverly looked at the man in front of her. He was not her Jean-Luc. Yet she still wanted to bury herself in his arms, but it was impossible, and she knew it. Instead of the husband she needed, she had to limit herself to the comfort of the friend he had been to her 25 years ago.

He gently held her hand as he started speaking, answering her question of a moment ago: "Well for now, I have someone looking over your shuttle to see if we can ascertain anything from the flight record. I've kept your presence here on the low and quiet. So far, only the doctor, a science officer and I know you're here."

At the mention of a science offer, a sudden frantic thought came to Beverly: Jack: "What's the date? Is Jack your science officer now?"

The mention of her husband brought Jean-Luc's guilt of loving his best friend's wife back to the surface. But this Beverly was not Jack's wife… She was his -, or more precisely would be his. The seeds of what this represented started sprouting, and before he knew it, he was already imagining her in his life, in his bed. Quickly, before his mind turned traitor to his future self, he shifted his attention back to present.

"Yes. He is"

"Then he'll be involved." She concluded.

"Perhaps. We'll see how far we get without him." Jean-Luc paused for a moment before continuing: "I hope it won't come to that, but we may have to involve him. He is by far our most knowledgeable officer when it comes to temporal mechanics."

Jean-Luc watched as Beverly nodded while absently rubbing her wedding ring. His heart skipped a beat. It was his mother's ring.

He only realized he had spoken out loud when Beverly answered: "Yes you gave it … I mean... you'll give it. Oh… God Jean-Luc, I don't know how to deal with this."

Without thinking, Jean-Luc and put a comforting hand on her knee. It was only once it was there that he realized it was something he would never dare do to Jack's Beverly. He quickly took his hand away, feeling guilty, but unsure if it was because he felt he was betraying Jack, or betraying a future Jean-Luc.

"Neither do I." He answered. "I will admit to also being shaken by all of this. You and I married – expecting a child together…."

Beverly nervously shifted away from him – to put some distance between them. Even though being close to him felt right, it was wrong.

"Not with you Jean-Luc... I mean..." Beverly hated temporal mechanics. This was all so confusing. "Yes with you, but not with you now..."

All of this was wrong. She needed to get away. Get away from this Jean-Luc, from this this time. This man was her husband and yet he was not; and somewhere else on this ship was another husband she had spent years mourning for. Beverly got up, needing to put some distance between her and this man.

She nervously turned to him: "Jean-Luc. I'm tired, hungry and I need some time to sort this entire thing out in my head. Is there a place….?"

This brought him back to reality. He got up and walked a few steps away from her.

"Of course. I've arranged quarters for you."

Jean-Luc ordered the transport and within seconds they were in crew quarters. Beverly looked over the space. She'd forgotten how spartan, and small those Stargazer quarters had been. It's hard to believe she and Jack had shared such a small space for months all those years ago.

Needing to be alone, she turned to Jean-Luc: "Thank You."

Jean-Luc wanted to take her in his arms, comfort her, and tell her everything would be all right. Yet he could not. This Beverly was not Jack's, but was she his? Were he and the Jean-Luc of the future not the same man? A man she had chosen to love, marry and have a child with? If Jean-Luc Picard of the Enterprise was her husband, what did that make Jean-Luc Picard of the Stargazer?

Not finding any answers to those question, Jean-Luc nodded silently and left the room.

***On the Enteprise.***

Deanna looked at the grim faces seated around the table in the observation lounge. The dread, fear, apprehension and dozens of other feelings the Betazoid was subjected to nearly overwhelmed her. The captain, outwardly calm, was stretched so thin Deanna felt he could break anytime. For so many years he had steadfastly believed marriage and children were emotional indulgences Starfleet captains should not permit themselves to have. To have his wife and unborn daughter stripped away from him, just when he had finally relented after having deprived himself such happiness for so long, would only serve to convince Jean-Luc he had been right all along. Deanna feared this would send the captain back to the emotionless fortress he had inhabited for so many years.

The Enterprise had rushed at maximum warp to the spot in space where Beverly's shuttle's last-known position had been, only to be greeted by the vast expanse of empty darkness. Days of research and attempts had led nowhere

Her attention was brought back to the meeting by the Captain's clipped tone: "Report Mr. Data."

"Dr. Crusher's shuttle has disappeared 12.2223 days ago and so far….." Deanna stopped listening to Data's report knowing full well no good news was going to be shared again today. The Enterprise's scientists had investigated worm holes, dark holes and every other type of space anomalies they could think of and so far they had been unsuccessful in determining what had happened to Beverly. Deanna had been involved in enough lost trip searches to know that each day longer Beverly was lost diminished the chances of finder her. The Captain also knew this, and each day his despair grew, and lately she could even detect the seeds of resignation from him as hope of finding his wife slowly melted away.

Data was speaking again: "Today we tried something different. We reconfigured our sensors and detected a very small trace of a temporal signature."

"Do you mean a temporal anomaly Mr. Data? A rift in time?" asked Picard. At these words, Deanna could sense the internal fight waging inside the Captain: tempering the small hope this news brought along with the probable reality this was another dead end had been his constant state of being for the last fortnight.

"Yes Captain. Our preliminary findings show the temporal anomaly is limited to a period of 20 to 30 years in the past. "

Riker pipped in: "Back then, this area was an unexplored part of space. Starfleet was just starting to send ships."

Picard nodded pensively: "Yes. I know. I was here on the Stargazer about 25 years ago." He then turned to Data. "That's all very well, Commander, but if indeed this is where the Algonquin went, how do we get her back?"

"Well Sir, first we have to ascertain when exactly Dr. Crusher went. Once we've established that, we will attempt recreating the conditions which allowed the rift to open in the first place."

Jean-Luc's mind drifted as Data started to explain the complicated theories of temporal mechanics and the android's plan to rescue his wife. He knew he should be listening, but his mind refused to concentrate on the complex discussions going around the table. No matter how hard he tried, he could not treat this situation like he would any other one. It was his wife who was missing.

It was Deanna's gentle prodding that brought him back to reality: "Sir…. Do you want us to proceed with Mr. Data's plan?"

Jean-Luc looked around the table. They were all staring silently at him. He hadn't noticed they'd stopped talking.

"Oh yes… of course, Mr Data. Make it so." He replied absently. Picard watched as the room emptied.

Only Deanna stayed.

The counselor started talking as gently as she could: "How are you doing, Captain?"

Jean-Luc, unable to stay sat any longer, got up and walked to the window: "How do you think I am feeling Counselor? My wife and unborn daughter have disappeared, and I don't need Data's positronic brain to realize each day longer they are gone, the chances of getting them back diminish."

Deanna got up, but stopped short of putting a hand on his shoulder. While his marriage to Beverly had softened her captain, there was still an aura, an armour around him, that silently discouraged signs of affections. But today it was not the friend she had to address, but her Captain and the Starfleet officer. Over the last few days she'd witness the strain increase on him. She and Will had discussed the Captain's ability to command through this very personal mission, and finally today, it was a question she could no longer ignore.

She tried to be as gentle as she could: "Sir. I must ask. Are you still able to maintain impartiality and command this ship through this mission?"

Jean-Luc let out a sad laugh: "Impartiality? Of course not, Counsellor. It's my wife who is lost out there." He then turned and faced her square on. "But, I am a Starfleet officer and the captain of this ship. I will not risk this ship nor her personnel."

He took a long breath and looked out to the stars: "I will do my duty, Counsellor."

His duty. That's what Deanna was afraid of.


	4. Chapter 4

On the Stargazer

Days had passed and Saal was no closer to solving the problem of sending Commander Crusher back to her own time that she had been on day one. The logical next step was to enlist the help of Commander Crusher – the other Commander Crusher. Jack Crusher was much better versed in temporal mechanics than Saal was , and if they wanted any chance of success, he would be needed.

She had been pondering this decision for days and had run out of logical reasons to delay taking the matter to the captain. Her mind made up, she went directly to Picard. (To her surprise,) she found him in his ready room: of late he had been spending much of his time with Beverly Crusher.

"Captain, I require to speak with you about Dr. Crusher's situation."

Jean-Luc sat back in his chair and motioned for Saal to sit down. "Yes, Lieutenant. Go ahead."

"Captain, I've been working on this problem for days now and I've reached an impasse."

She paused, wanting her words to sink in before making her request: "I require the help of someone more knowledgeable than I am on temporal mechanics. I require the help of Commander Crusher, sir".

Trying to give himself more time, Jean-Luc got up and walked over to the window. Of course, he had suspected the request would come. The lack of progress the Vulcan had made in solving the problem had been hint enough that he could no longer afford to keep Jack away from it. He had justified his decision of keeping this secret from Jack to protect the younger man, his Beverly, and also, not negligibly, to protect the timeline. But when he stopped, and really thought of it, Jean-Luc knew he was not being entirely truthful with himself. Stealing Beverly Crusher away from her husband, and his best friend, was anathema to Jean-Luc. He was not that kind of a man. But this Beverly….. this Beverly was different. She was not Jack's wife. In a twisted kind of way, she was his. Had he been subconsciously trying to sabotage her return to her own time so he could keep her? Not wanting to delve too deeply where he was likely to come out looking bad, he made a quick decision

"I agree, Lieutenant. I had hoped to spare Jack this, but I can see we no longer have that option." He turned away from the window to face the Vulcan.

"I'll speak to him. Thank you."

He would speak to him, but first he had to speak to her.

Jean-Luc found her sitting in her quarters. She was out of uniform, wearing a simple dress. She smiled when she saw him and like every time he went to visit her, she asked.

"Any news Jean-Luc? Any progress?"

A part of him could not help but be upset at her at her for wanting to leave him, that this question overshadowed every single moment they spent together.

He shook his head. "No. Saal has hit a wall." Seeing the pain in her eyes, he paused before starting to speak again.

"We are so far away from Starfleet Command here. Any time she asks for input, it takes two days for the answer to come back and by then, she's already figured it out. Saal needs help. Help here. Someone to work with."

Beverly understood immediately. "Jack."

Jean-Luc nodded. "We need his help if we are to find a way to send you home."

"He'll need to talk with me for the investigation of course."

Beverly had purposely avoided thinking about having to see Jack. She was scared at the thought of seeing the man she had missed so much and for so long. Scared seeing him again would cast a shadow on her marriage to Jean-Luc. What if she still loved Jack? Loved him more than Jean-Luc? If she got back, could she move on from this? If she got back… When did she start thinking like this? This week? Yesterday?

"He'll want to know more. About my life." She put her hands on her belly. "About this baby."

Jean-Luc nodded.

"Of course he will, but I'll brief him first. You won't have to tell him."

Beverly nodded pensively, then a small gentle smile came to her face. "It'll be nice to see him again."

Jean-Luc was unprepared by the strong visceral jealousy that hit him. That Ensign Beverly Crusher, safely on Earth with her young son, loved Jack and not him – that he could live with – that was the normal order of things. But this Beverly, this Beverly should not. Somewhere, sometime she had married him, Jean-Luc Picard, and unknowingly, he had started to think of her has his. This realization hit him hard. Jean-Luc had not expected it. He needed time – space away from her to think this through. He abruptly moved away from her.

"I'll speak to Jack."

Before he could leave the room, she caught him, put a hand on his arm. "Jean-Luc, I don't want to be alone, when I meet him. Can you be there?"

The joy her request gave him was another thing Jean-Luc had not been ready for.

He agreed.

Beverly's hand went from his arm to his face:. "It's different seeing you like this. I'd forgotten how you were back then… now, I mean." Her fingers gently caressed his face. "You and I being the same age. I'm finding it strange."

Jean-Luc slowly drifted closer to Beverly. The small movement was enough for Beverly to break out of her reverie. She quickly pulled her hand away and stepped back.

"You should go. The sooner Jack starts working on this, the sooner I get home."

Without taking his eyes off of her he answered softly, "Of course."

He walked towards the door, but before leaving, he turned to give her one last look.

Beverly watched him leave, wondering what had just happened.

Jack Crusher walked nervously with his captain to Beverly's cabin. Even though he'd had time to prepare himself, he was still quite anxious about meeting this Beverly. When Jean-Luc had called to his ready room to brief him on the mysterious shuttle, he had never imagined he would end up dealing with his wife.

No, not his wife, but Jean-Luc's wife.

Finding out he was dead, or in whatever universe this Beverly came from, a Jack Crusher was dead, had unnerved him. Yet, somehow, in a strange kind of way, knowing Jean-Luc had been there for her had given him comfort. At least she had not had to deal with his death alone.

Jack had questions, questions only she could answer, and hopefully those answers would help him figure out how to send her back to her own time. He had other questions too, more personal questions. How was she? How was Wesley? Did they have more children? How long ago did he die? But he was a Starfleet officer and these questions would remain unasked.

They finally reached her cabin and Jack took in a long breath before hitting the annunciator. A voice he immediately recognized invited them in.

The door opened and he saw her.

She was beautiful. Her beauty was now more deep, and somehow more real than his Beverly – as though age had somehow refined her.

"Oh, Jack."

It only took a second for Beverly to make her way to him, and Jack to open his arms. They stayed like that for several moments – neither of them noticed when Jean-Luc left the room.

After a while, Jack pulled away and used the familiar phrase, "Hey there you."

Tears came to Beverly's eyes. The greeting was so familiar; despise not having heard it in nearly twenty years. She answered back, "Hey there you."

That was all that was needed to set her off. Before she knew it, the tears were coming down her cheeks and Jack's strong arms were around her giving her the comfort she needed, she craved. As he held her, she cried, cried for being where she was now, cried for having lost him so many years ago, cried for the years they did not get to have together. And just like he used to do all those years ago, he silently held her, murmuring gentle words of comfort.

Finally she settled down. He led her to the couch and they sat down. Jack finally had the chance to look her over.

"Well, you aged well, old girl."

The teasing was what Beverly had needed as she erupted with laughter mixed with her tears.

"Oh Jack. I have missed you so much."

Jack, seeing how fragile her composure was, gently touched her face. "I'm a hard guy to live without."

He leaned back on the couch keeping his arm around her shoulder giving that smile she has missed for so long, the one where the smile reached his eyes. "So….. you and good old Johnny, eh?"

Beverly's head shot up quickly from where she had been resting it on his shoulder to look at him.

"How…?" she asked.

"I am the science officer on this ship, Beverly. I know you Jean-Luc and Saal decided the information should not be shared with me, but I'm a pretty smart guy. It didn't take me long to figure out some data packs had been erased, and even less time to recover them."

Beverly smiled. So much like Wesley. The same swiftness, the same intelligence. She wished she could tell Jack the wonderful and bright young man his son had become.

She turned her mind back to her situation.

"I'm a doctor, Jack. Temporal mechanics was one of my weakest subjects at school, but one thing I do know: neither you nor Jean-Luc ever told me about encountering me in this situation. I know my Jack could not have hidden this, and for sure, the Jean-Luc I'm married to would also have told me - Starfleet regulations or not. So, as best I can figure, this is some kind of parallel timeline. So whatever happened in my timeline may not happen to yours."

Beverly had not changed. She was still the same caring person he was married to now. Jack was comforted knowing her widowhood had not turned her into a bitter woman.

"Well, once I was past the idea of being dead, Johnny being there for you and Wesley, marrying you, seemed like a great thing. I'm glad. I would never want you to be alone."

Beverly hesitated. How could she tell him his best friend had abandoned her? Had left her and Wesley alone to put their lives back together? Out of guilt she now knew, but still, it would hurt Jack to know that Jean-Luc had been absent from their lives for years. Here, as when she was married to Jack years ago, the two men were friends, and it was best for their friendship that they remained ignorant of her and Jean-Luc's ten year estrangement.

Beverly huddled herself closer to Jack and closed her eyes, enjoying the moment. For so long, she had longed to have his arms around her, to feel his strength one more time. They stayed like that for a while and finally Jack spoke.

"How's Wesley?"

All her good intentions of following the timeline directives evaporated. Jack was a father asking about his son and could not deny him. It turns out the mother and wife in her was stronger than the Starfleet officer.

"He's fine. He went to the Academy, but he…"

She let off, unable to continue, feeling somehow Wesley's troubles were her fault, and ashamed to have to tell Jack. At his insistence, however, she told him everything: the Nova Squadron accident and Wesley's subsequent malaise and his eventual departure from the academy.

"I'm sorry Beverly. Sorry you had to face all of that alone. "

Jack's arm tightened around her in comfort. Beverly looked up to him with a small smile.

"Jean-Luc was there, both times, supporting me, helping Wesley."

"Well… the old guy better be. He's your husband now. That's his job." Jack answered with humour in his voice.

Jean-Luc had been there yes – but not as her husband but as her best friend. It was something else she would keep from Jack. The years they had both needed to finally find each other: Beverly needing to get over her fears, and Jean-Luc over his guilt.

Jack sat up straighter: "Beverly, I need to ask you some questions about how you got here, about your log entries. I really think I can figure out how to send you back to your own time, but I need some information. Are you up to that?"

Beverly nodded affirmatively and Jack took out the padd he had walked in with and started going over several points with her. They were at it for over an hour before Jack finally put the padd down.

"Well, Beverly, I think that's all for now. I'll work on this with Saal and I think we may be able to figure something out." He leaned back on the chair and looked at his wife.

"So CMO of the Enterprise, a commander, and a bridge officer on top it. You didn't do too badly."

"I guess so….but it was always our plan. I just had to do it alone… " Beverly looked up, worried she had made Jack feel guilty. Guilt had been around for too many years for her to create more.

"But that was fine. It kept me busy – focused."

Jack looked at his wife. There were so many more things he wanted to ask. Yet he knew he couldn't, that he shouldn't. Did they stay as happy as they were now? How long before she remarried? Jack shook his head. It was better he not know.

"Anyway, I should go." Jack got up - but just as he was about to leave, Beverly spoke up.

"I'm glad Jack. Glad we had the time to chat. I know we broke every rule there is in terms of the temporal directive, but you know what, I don't care."

Jack gave her one last hug. "Neither do I, Bev," then he then walked out.

Beverly looked at the door for a very long time after he left. Jack was perhaps even more handsome than she remembered. The picture, the holograms… they never did do him justice. It had been so good so see him. He had died so abruptly, and she had never had the chance to say goodbye. It had been a knot left untied in her life, and for the first time in years, she felt complete.

She had been nervous at the thought of meeting him. How would she react? She had so loved him back then. Would that love still be there with the same vibrancy it had once been?

It was not. She'd known it the moment he'd walked through the door. Jack, she was sure of it now, was part of her past. She no longer was the same girl who had married him twenty years ago. The girl who had been so in love with Jack Crusher was not her anymore.

She was now a woman in love with a different man: Jean-Luc Picard.


End file.
